Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Old Lady:
I am 73 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us what happened the night of April 1st?
Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man came to the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Old Lady:
He started to stroke my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Old Lady:
I felt so good. Nobody had done that since my late husbands, Dr Fashi and Major Sandson passed away years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Old Lady:
He began to fondle my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Old Lady:
His fondling made me feel all energized. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so horny that I just laid down and asked him 'Take me, young man. I'm all yours.'
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Old Lady:
Hell, No! He just yelled,
'APRIL FOOL!'
And that's when I shot that bastard!