All about Indian SurNames and origins : Hilarious

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*A 'Hue'ristic Analysis* 

Last week, an Uncle Sam from Uncle Sam, added colour to each भारती with his findings on "किन किन का skin किन kin skin से मिलता है" – A truly 'hue'ristic analysis. People from the North, he said are gory (oops, I mean गोरा); Southys could do with a generous helping of "Fair & Lovely"; the unshakeable Westerners are Sheikhs; and, the Easterners are like their Rosogollas – totally चीनी.

Yes, Bongs are inherently Chinese, as originally their surnames were spelt Baner-xi, Chatter-xi and Mukher-xi but, over time, they substituted the algebraic unknown 'x', so that they could live here 'ji' भर के. They also had a surname 'Zen' and, with a spelling change, it began to make more 'Sens' (thereby dividing the world into two types – Sens and non-Sens).

Shahs are from Persia and, as rulers, there are some good Shahs and some 'Badshahs'. A prominent Shah we know of is into Shah-सन and, even in the BCCI, we see a Shah-son doing शासन.

Pais (π's) are definitely Greek, and true to their nature, this illustrious community works 22-by-7. They're so popular that they even made a movie – The Life of Pai. Kamath's could be from a highly unionized nation, where they said इतना Kamath करो. However, Udupi से आकर ये लोग अब अपना Manipal रहे हैं.

Some Odiyas like Patra, Mohapatra etc. descended from Egypt i.e. Cleo'Patra'. Similarly, the Nathans of the South (Vishwanathan, Ramanathan, Swaminathan et al) came from the father of Tutankhamun i.e. Akha'nathan'.

Reddy's were African runners all set to get off the race block – Reddy, Steddy, Go. And, unable to continue in Kashmir, some Pandits were न इDhar न उDhar and, at some point in time, they had to take a Kaul.

Khannas are Scottish considering they have a lot of Scotland inside them. This well-to-do community have a movie named after them - "McKhanna's Gold". 'Gills' are from some sea and, as their surname suggests, they were so comfortable under water that they even named a town – Jalandhar. Iyers, like me, are actually Iyerish – I mean Irish, Dublin up as Tambrahms. Being 'shy whites', we migrated to TN and became 'Shaivaites'.

Thanks to Uncle Sam, we now know that we derive our 'strength' from the fact that we are truly Gloबल. Being a colourful lot, most of us don't even belong to this country and therefore, we are simply out of this world!

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